Shy Bride: 5 Tips For Overcoming Wedding Day Jitters

In a bridal-personality spectrum ranging from Shy Bride to Bridezilla, where would you land?

Do you relish being the “it” woman and step into the wedding limelight at every opportunity? Are you excitedly anticipating the moment when all eyes will be on you?

Or, does it make you nervous to be the center of attention? Are you painfully aware that everyone will be looking at you for the majority of the day? Are you unsure about what to do with your face and gestures, and worry that you’ll look awkward?

It’s easy to feel self-conscious when other brides’ look so confident and natural in every photo. The good news is that you can too.

I’m not one for being the center of attention and that made me nervous at my wedding. The thought of 57 pairs of eyes staring at me was almost enough to channel Julia Roberts à la The Runaway Bride. Fortunately I had prepared for this very moment and felt totally relaxed, natural and vibrant during the ceremony, photos and reception.

In today’s post I’m going to teach you how the Shy Bride can manage her wedding jitters.

Why You Want This

You’re an introvert who wants to feel confident on your big day.

Why You Need This

Getting comfortable with being the center of attention will allow you to love every minute of your wedding without feeling self-conscious. Remember that this is about you …but not in a Bridezilla kind of way!

How To Get Your Fiancé On Board

Is he just a shy guy (looking for a two-ply)? If your beau has confidence issues too, have him do these exercises with you.

The Shy Bride’s Guide To Wedding Day Confidence

A lot of the wedding day jitters stem from feeling concerned about how you will look, am I right? So, let’s get one thing clear — you’re going to be a drop-dead gorgeous bride, and everyone thinks so.

In today’s exercise I want you to shift gears and move your attention away from appearance. I’m going to give you five focus points to zone in on when that processional music starts playing, and none of them have to do with how you look.

1. Visualize To Actualize

Close your eyes and visualize the number of people who love you that are attending your wedding. Imagine how excited you’ve felt at the weddings of your closest family and friends and know that your guests are experiencing that too. Let your heart swell with love and gratitude for being surrounded by all of your favorite people, and say a secret thank you to them before opening on your eyes and entering your ceremony.

2. Eloping In A Crowd Of Guests

You might be feeling nervous, but the man you love has already been standing up there for minutes (that must seem like hours). Poor fellow. As everyone’s eyes turn to you, all he has are yours. In that moment there is no one else but the two of you, and you’ll see how much love and pride he feels to be marrying you.

This moment was my absolute favorite wedding memory.

3. Relax & Go With The Flow

This is a great technique to use throughout your engagement as well as on the wedding day:

Start by mentally scanning your body from head to toe. Notice where you’re holding tension:
- Are your shoulders elevated?
- Are you clenching your jaw?
- Are you gripping in your hip flexors?
On your next exhale relax all of the muscles in your body, just like a limp rag doll.
Next, relax your face completely and don’t worry about setting a smile or looking a certain way.
As you walk down the aisle allow your emotions to guide your expressions, without you having to think about it.

4. Posture – The Secret Confidence Builder

O.K. so I’m a stickler for posture — I am a Pilates trainer after all — but this time it’s not about your look, it’s about creating an instant confidence boost. I truly believe that you can’t not feel more confident with perfect posture.

Use your core muscles to lengthen your spine and keep your eyes looking up and out in front of you.

How To: Improve your posture with these exercises.

5. Be YOU!

Once the ceremony is over the pressure is off. During the photos, the first dance, the speeches and all the rest of it just relax, have fun and be your normal, genuine, beautiful self (and that may mean being the Shy Bride!)

Remember that your guests already know and love you, and they don’t expect you to be some wedding-extreme version of yourself. If you want to kick it on the dance floor and get silly with your bridesmaids, go for it. If you’re more of the quiet type and want to sit back and simply be, then that’s great as well.

Being your authentic self will make you look and feel more confident, and will make you totally love your wedding experience.